Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of MTV’s The Jersey Shore will headline his own comic book.
In case you haven’t heard, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame is getting his own comic book. We don’t have many details, but here’s what we know: The comic will hit shelves in early August, and the cover will look like this. That’s enough information to inspire some bold predictions from the PPC team.
• Origin story: A young man named Michael Sorrentino is resting in a tanning bed when an eruption at Jersey’s Salem Nuclear Power Plant causes the roof of the salon to cave in, trapping Sorrentino inside. Instead of burning Sorrentino to a crisp after the recommended 20-minute tan time elapses, the UVA rays combine with the nuclear emissions and Sorrentino’s hair gel to turn him into The Situation, a wise-cracking Italian with trademark abs, an uncanny ability to land a one-night stand and an innate talent for lying in almost every situation. Because the hair gel only trickles down to the top half of his body, The Situation has a ripped torso, but comical chicken legs.
• Costume: Based on the cover, the main costume will be tight jeans, no shirt and baller shades. Alternate costumes likely include lime-green Abercrombie sweatpants, sideways baseball caps, oversized ceramic watches and Italian-flag belt buckles.
• Powers: Rock-hard abs and hair that repel opposing forces; the ability to identify a grenade from across a crowded club; a skull and vertebra strong enough to withstand the impact of a concrete wall; flame-retardant skin built up after years of grilling accidents.
• Kryptonite: Pain pills; Jionni; culture.
• Nemesis: The Snook, the superhero created when fellow Jersey Shore castmate Snooki attempted to cure her 15th consecutive urinary tract infection with a paste made of pickles, vodka and fibers from her stuffed animal, crocodilly.
