We’re all familiar with the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, which tells us B.O. is a virtue, crying is only acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon and deer protein is on par with romantic love. Due to the ever-evolving physical appearance of Nick Offerman, the actor and comedian who plays Swanson on NBC’s awesome Parks and Recreation, we now need the Nick Offerman Pyramid of Facial Greatness. How else are we supposed to process all the dye-jobs, cornrows and risqué poses?
To help you stay current, here’s a rundown of five of Offerman’s most striking looks. Vote for your favorite below.
Classic Ron: Plastic hair, epic mustache, basking in the glow of bacon and eggs.
Bond Villain Nick: Blond hair, piercing eyes, simultaneously terrifying and mesmerizing.
Lumberjack Nick: Buzzed hair, tattoos on display, communing with nature.
Baby-face Nick: No mustache, no mustache, no mustache. It’s like seeing a unicorn.
Whipped Ron: Cornrows, a bathrobe, involuntary incarceration.
